The art of having a signature “thing”

My best friend Casey is the coolest person I know.

I’ve known Casey since the 2nd day of college. It’s funny because for a long time, I always heard people talk about having lifelong friends and felt a little self conscious because I didn’t. But I recently realized that I’ve known my college friends for 13 years. That’s almost half my life (and honestly? thank god it’s not half because, well, 26 sucked).

That took a second to sink in.

After college, I lived with Casey in a small South Boston apartment. One of the things she taught me was that baking from scratch is always, always better than store bought.

At this point, I couldn’t cook for my life. I was cooking to survive, not for enjoyment. I told myself I hated cooking (and still did until very recently), but the truth is that I just had never taken the time to learn how to do it. I remember my 25 year old self thinking: that’s so freaking cool to be able to make something from nothing, and to actually enjoy doing it.

Fast forward a few years and we’re at her bachelorette party. This girl made every single one of us a personalized, embroidered hat that I still have to this day. Yes - the bride made all of us something.

There’s something special about opening up your closet and seeing a physical item from someone that you really care about.

A few weeks ago, I got a text asking what type of quilt I would want. It sounds silly, but I cannot describe how much joy and excitement I have looking forward to this quilt. There’s a funny thing that happens in your 30s, especially when you’re single. You begin to find yourself watching everyone around you receive gifts - and I’m talking big gifts - for weddings, babies, milestone birthdays. Honestly, I’m not a gift girl - but sometimes it can be a tough pill to swallow when you realize how much you’ve celebrated your people and that there’s honestly no expectation to celebrate your wins - promotions, new apartments - in return (that’s not to say we don’t celebrate, it just doesn’t feel like society is encouraging you to).

Let’s just sum it up and say: to have a friend use their energy to literally create something for you just because is the most heartwarming gesture. I could cry just thinking about it.

What I’m getting at is: I think having a signature “thing” to share with people you love is the coolest thing in the world.

And it doesn’t have to be big or perfect. In fact, I actually think it’s even better if it’s a little imperfect (20 year old perfectionist me is shaking right now…).

Lately, I’ve been trying to find my thing. I find myself being more and more drawn to food and to art. *I use the word art very loosely.

I’ve tried new dessert recipes to bring when I visit my family. I’ve tried watercoloring birthday cards. I’ve always loved a handwritten sticky note (not sure if that qualifies as a “thing”). I’ve even tried curating flowers - which promptly die within 2 to 3 business days.

In a digital world, having a physical, signature “thing” to share with your people feels like a luxury. Like in some tiny way, you’re leaving your mark on an otherwise intangible world.

And it makes people’s days. It brings them joy. And in turn it brings you joy. In marketing, that’s called “surprise and delight.” I’m going to call it whimsy.

I think we all need more whimsy.